Things Finally Settling Down

For the first time in a long time I am starting to feel positive about the future, despite the challenges and worries we've faced about mum's condition and being unsure about what the best next steps are in terms of her care.

Today I visited mum and saw her for a brief time. My half-sister, who I mentioned all the way at the start of this blog, was there too. She has been able to visit our mum more often recently and is having a positive effect on things - both for mum and the care home itself. My sister works herself in care services so understands the needs and challenges of those with disabilities. To be honest, it was a huge relief and massive boost to be able to meet up with my sister again as we just haven't had the time to catch up.

We have considered having mum go back home with dad, provided they are supported in the best way possible. It's been on the cards for a long time now to make changes in the home and to have a bedroom downstairs (seeing as the bathroom is downstairs too) and changing the bathroom into a wet room to make things easier for them both. My immediate concern about that was how they would both manage on their own together again. Mum has been taken away from the environment she has spent the best part of 38 years of course, and anyone from the outside looking in would say it's probably the best place for her.

But now, things are different. Her care needs are very particular, as witnessed and understood first hand by the care home. I had a work with the Senior Care Worker on my way out and she mentioned that it just wouldn't work having her at home. As much as everyone might like this to happen, in order to give mum the comfort and familiarity she needs, it wouldn't be possible for dad to look after her, even with regular care from trained visitors.

The reason I feel positive about this is at least it's an option that we've considered that probably isn't going to happen. It's not a pleasant thought to accept that mum will need full-time specialist care, and to not be at home, but this is just the way things are. Dad will naturally be very upset about how that would pan out, but it may well be unavoidable. He's told me himself how much he misses her, and that is completely understandable. But he just won't be able to cope anymore.

My wife's jury service is finally over, so at home we are returning to some sort of normality. Our 9 month old lad though hasn't been well the last few days. He's not eating properly and been pooping for more regularly - and it's been runny and messy. He still doesn't settle well during the night, but last night in particular was an example of a relatively good night for us all. He finally settled around 9pm and only woke around 2 o'clock in the morning. But, he fell asleep again and didn't wake again until around 4 o'clock, at which point he guzzled down a bottle of milk. If this were to happen more often - which we know it won't as no two nights are ever the same - then we'd both get much more needed rest.

Next week could be interesting. We should have a full written report off the back of the full assessment undertaken recently by the Continuing Care team, and social services will be on hand to look for appropriate care services for mum if the right funding is approved.