The Dreaded Night-time

While everything has been going on with dealing with mum's dementia and social services and assessments and worries over visiting the home and keeping tabs on how dad is doing after his op, my wife and I still have our nearly-9 month old baby boy to look after.

On the whole he is a very happy, smiley, big and strong baby boy. The issue we're still struggling with is his sleeping habits. At this stage, I understand babies should be sleeping through the night or at least only waking up once or twice, but our boy can be up five or six times each night.

My wife and I haven't  had a good night's rest since last April. I expect we won't be able to for a long while yet, and it's a daunting prospect. You certainly get used to it and deal with it, but going to work tired isn't a good thing and wanting to get some sleep as soon as he drops off around 8:30 or 9pm means you hardly have time to yourselves. The problem is he's far too comfortable sleeping in the big bed and doesn't like his own cot.

I don' t know where we went wrong in the past but this means that if he does drop off and we move him into his cot, he is awake as soon as he touches the thing. He cries and wails. It's really not a pleasant thing to have to handle in the middle of the night when you can hardly keep your eyes open. The pressure of course is more on mum and you can only do what you can do to be there and support them both. I do at least have 'my jobs' - like sterilising the bottles, giving him breakfast in the morning, changing nappies and bathing him a few times a week, so there is a bond the two of us have developed.

Thinking back to before he was born, we had both been worried about being good parents and knowing what to do. Thankfully, parenthood came quite naturally - afterall though you can't do it any other way, as the little thing is solely dependent on you. Maybe his poor sleeping habits (sleep association is a phrase that comes up a lot when we look for solutions) is a result of us being a bit lacklustre as parents?

As a result, I'm beginning to dread the night-times. Sure, he'll drop off after a bath and a bottle of milk but soon enough, he'll be up and wailing again. You go to bed feeling good and happy but in the night time, it's really tough. Each and every night both him and us are up constantly.

But, perhaps it's a phase. Perhaps it's just his age. Maybe it's too hot or too cold for him. Maybe he's uncomfortable about something.

In the past week, he's been able to stand up on his own, provided he is supported by something. A huge milestone. At some point he'll manage to stand up on his own unaided and then he'll be walking. Daytimes might get more difficult for us too. People keep telling us things get easier but goodness, it feels like it's only got harder and harder.

And I haven't even mentioned my wife's Jury Service, which has started this week.