One Week Already

It has been over a week now since dad went into hospital and since mum went into the local care home.

Whenever we've visited mum she's been in her normal cheerful mood. This is all very encouraging. All of the members of staff we've seen have mentioned how well she has been getting on and how lovely and friendly she is. What has made me a little sad is that she doesn't mention dad in our presence, but appears to do so when we're not there. I wonder whether the longer she stays in there the more likely she is to forget about him completely.

And longer she may stay there, because things haven't been progressing to plan for my dad. One our last visit, a second MRI had not been carried out, and therefore no decision has been made about what procedure might be required. If anything does happen, it'll not likely happen until next week now, which means mum's stay in the care home will be extended. In turn this means the costs will continue to eat into their savings, and dad still will not have had the respite he desperately needed.

My dad was clearly very sensitive and emotional when we visited yesterday. He's in a place he doesn't want to be and is at the mercy of the staff. He can do nothing but wait and do his best to be patient and wait for the hours to pass. When we talked about mum, he was close to tears. When we left, he really was in tears. He surely didn't want us to have to leave.

I'm sure there wouldn't be any problem if and when the time comes for her to go home, but part of me worries about how she will get on being at home with dad again. She'll come away from a routine where she is fed regularly, has her clothes changed and washed regularly, and that she herself receives better personal care with washing and brushing her teeth regular - something which appears not to happen at home with dad. She won't have the same interaction with other people either.

While this has been going on, my wife and I are doing our best to cope with a 7 month old baby boy who appears to have this eating routine a bit mixed up. Despite best efforts, he's not eating very much during the day and is waking up 5 or 6 times in the night and not settling without a feed. The strain is on my wife of course but at least the little lad is taking pureed food and bottled milk more now, so we just need to feed him more where possible during the day, or look at changing our tactics.

We also have in the back of minds the fact that this time of year is the anniversary of the tragic events that happened 2 years ago. As fortunate as we are to have a beautiful, health baby boy, we cannot forget that he may well have had an older brother who would be a year and a half-old already.

This really has been a challenging year so far.