It's truly been a week of ups and downs. In my last post on Sunday evening, I was expecting to go to bed, be up a few times in the night as usual because of our poor lad having tonsilitis, to be up in the morning and follow the normal morning routine and then heading to the nearby GP practice for my scheduled appointment with the doctor before going into the office.
I got as far as the GP but came home. I have been signed off work for 'stress related health problems', as well as having a chest infection which is more easily remedied by some antibiotics and rest. It's the first time it's happened to me, but I guess it was a matter of time. I simply don't feel well in myself.
My absence from work has afforded me the time to switch off (as was the intention) and concentrate on things outside of work, but this has still been challening. We're no closer to finding ourselves a new home, so that is very much something still needing to be done sooner rather than later. But, at least our lad is getting better and (touch wood) has actually been sleeping fairly well in the night - perhaps it's just his time, as today (Friday 12th February 2016) he is 10 months old. The problem has been getting him to take his own antibiotics - not easily done when the stuff tastes horrid and the guy has been known to throw everything up, so it's been a testing time to say the least with his illness alone.
On Wednesday my father and I took the chance to visit the care home together to see mum. Thankfully she was settled but still showed signs of being distressed and generally not with it. She did recognise him and spoke to him and even said at one point "love you, dad" which I found rather touching. My dad of course is not one to wail or scream but the tears flowed freely for much of the time there. It was only the second time he had seen her since having his heart attack back in November and it isn't pleasant for any of us seeing how much of her we've lost to the dementia.
When she was settled and sleepy again, we took our chance to slip out quietly without too much anguish. A tough thing for my father to do, but I'm used to it now.
Yesterday, we had some positive news - if you could call it that. The Clinical Commissioning Group had confirmed that they have accepted the suggestion by the mental health team and approved full continuing care funding for mum, for at least three months with a review again at the end of that period. What this means is that whatever care package they put in place and wherever that might be, that the NHS pays for it in full. I had that very same day written a cheque and sent it off the council in response to the bill we received for mum's care up to that point.
That same evening I was lucky enough to check my email to see an invitation from the care home asking me to be present at a meeting with social services and a rep from the CCG to discuss the next plans. I took my father with me and the team discussed what could be possible going forward, as the care home are not equipped to deal with mum's behaviour and have for some time already been finding it very difficult. One other specialist nursing home representative had visited but had refused to take her, because they already had several other clients with similar challenging needs. Another specialist nursing home was mentioned and it became a ray of hope for us - it is the same care home that looked after my uncle some years ago in the later stages of his life, so there was some encouragement that that particular home might be involved in helping with mum's care.
Sadly, the Assistant Manager called me this afternoon to tell me that they took had refused to take mum on the grounds of her challening and complex needs. It has been a blow to us, as there is only one other option left before the council have to look outside of the borough - which means mum will be taken further away and it will be difficult for my father to visit.
We have of course wanted to consider her going home, but this doesn't appear to be the way forward. It makes sense for her to be in her normal home environment, but she has been away so long now that even that might not feel as safe or comfortable as it once was. The fact is that things can't go back to the way they were anyway, anymore.
So, it's another matter of waiting for the weekend to be over with before the council can make new enquiries. Day by day, mum is getting worse and worse. The future looks bleak, but it's a future that is unavoidable.
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