Earliest memories...

"When I was younger, I couldn't wait to get older so I could do my own thing. Now I just want to stop getting older" (Mrs)

I'm trying to work out how far back my memory goes. We have lots of family photos but for the most part I don't recall the events or occasions they were taken at until perhaps when I get to 7, 8, 9 years of age. The images do stir something in me, but perhaps only because they've been viewed a number of times over the years since they were taken. It was a nice thing to do of an evening back then - to bring out the albums and look through them all.

There are photos of me running in a school race when I must have been 7 or 8, but I don't remember doing that. There are a set of photos with me posing with a small football around the house that my mum took. I can remember a little about that and the fact that my mum took them.  I would have been younger, maybe 4 or 5. We apparently holidayed in Westward Ho where strong winds nearly blew the roof off our caravan but I don't remember that happening. There are photos of me on the beach at Torquay, a place we'd holidayed at a lot as a family but I don't remember being on the beach.

I do also remember my father dropping me off at school, into a class at whatever was before primary school. Whenever we pass the school, we wonder whether kids and their parents still do the same thing. I think some of the earliest memories I have would be playing with the kids that lived in the same street as me. There was a family who had a climbing frame in the back garden and I'd be afraid to come from it whenever my folks came to collect because I was afraid of their dogs...!

I wonder how far back my mum, in her 70s now and with her dementia, can actually remember. A significant part of her illness is that she remembers things from a long time back, many years ago with her family and at her home in rural Thailand. As much as I'd like to trace back the family history on my mum's side, I know that's not possible anymore. I am also conscious of asking her about things in case she gets upset or how it might affect how she views or interprets her life right now. I wonder if she might escape into that world and forget about the things around her now.

My father's side however, is a different story. I've never had living grandparents so it's always been a mystery to me, but I do know their names and have received snippets of information about my background. Only very recently though have I started to make real progress into understanding my ancestors, and started the investigation with my Aunt.

She is older than my dad by some years but is still active and has a sharp mind. Incredibly, she has managed to dig out a birth certificate for my great grand-father going back to 1874. This of course has sparked a huge interest in gathering up information and making use of online records to try and piece together our family history.

One of the more worrying things that have come out of it though is finding out a pattern among that side of the family relating to poor heart conditions. My father had problems in his 50s. My grandparents both died in their 40s due to chest and heart problems. It's something I hadn't considered before but I'm far more conscious now about my own health - and especially since I have a child of my own on the way.

Speaking of which, we are at this stage in the third trimester and 8 or 9 weeks away from the due date. Next week we have the first of a series of antenatal classes. 10 years ago I would never have thought I'd be where I am now.