Alzheimer's Society

This week I did a little reading up on what help is available out there for dementia sufferers and those that look after them.

During the last few telephone calls with my father, he's mentioned how my mum is beginning to act 'weird' and I'm worried what this actually means. Her condition is only going to get worse but this year I've hardly spent any time in their company due to starting a family of my own, so I can't tell just how bad things might be over there (or indeed whether dad might actually be exaggerating things - I know how stressful it can be sometimes and he's not likely to say positive things when I happen to speak to him when he's feeling tired).

The sad thing is that they don't live far away and I should be visiting more often, which I do regret.

What I have noticed is that mum doesn't seem to quite understand she has a grandson. She forgets, of course. But if we speak on the telephone she'll mention how the baby is (and she knows my wife's name) but when we visit she seems confused that there is a baby in the house, asking who it is and what's his or her name. The bittersweet thing about this is that she'll be overjoyed at seeing him and realising it's her grandson, and her mood lifts tenfold (as does my father's, actually). With the recent illnesses at home with the wife's chicken pox, we haven't been able to take our lad over to see them and that is now the thing I look forward to most, but is only possible once my wife makes a full recovery and if our lad is fine himself.

I know my father has taken steps to contact social services and have the necessary assessments, but everything has taken so long and they're not much better off for it. He is struggling with his own problems of course - and is being registered on (if he isn't already) on the partially sighted list. At some point he's going to struggle walking up the road on his own due to his failing eyesight. I already see the affect at home - he does his best to keep the place tidy but the dust and grime is something which will only get worse too. As a way of reviewing and looking again at what help is out there, I did a little research and hope to make some calls myself to find out what can be done.

I had a read over the Alzheimer's Society website and the huge amount of threads posted by people sharing their stories and asking for advice. A lot of it puts things into perspective and I realise that things aren't as bad as they could be, and that some people out there are far worse off that my mum and dad are. If my father wasn't a mobile as he was or if his own mind deteriorated enough that he couldn't keep things organised at home (washing, cooking, cleaning, administering medication etc) then things really would be tough.

The terrible thing is that it's likely it's going to happen eventually anyway. He won't be able to keep going forever. What are we all going to do when that time comes?