3 Weeks

It's a boy, mum

We are less than 3 weeks away from the due date. I'm getting more and more nervous but what I'm feeling can't compare to what my wife must be thinking and feeling.

Everything appears normal so far - we had the last of our scans recently so there will be no more checks now, besides a couple more midwife and GP visits scheduled. We have a car seat - very important - and some nursery furniture at home ready to receive our baby. All that remains is for us to wait and hope for the best.

I can't help thinking that had things went differently with the first pregnancy, our son would nearly be a year old already. My parents and my wife's parents and us as a family all would have been looking forward to his first birthday. But, these things happen and right now we have another chance and are gearing up for that life-changing moment when a new member of the family arrives.

People often say or tell us that we'd make great parents but deep down I think we both fear that we won't do a good job. We're told things will come naturally and that we'll get the hang of things, but how do we really know until the time comes? My wife admits herself that she can be a bit of a pessimist - she'll more likely think of the worse and what can go wrong. That doesn't mean she doesn't hope for the best of course but perhaps she's just too much of a 'worrier'. I'm concerned too that I won't be able to do the right thing or to look after my boy. Maybe we should stop overthinking it and just take it as it comes.

It's good that my parents are also in a good enough state to be around when the time comes. I'm already thinking about that moment when I call my father to tell him that his grandson has arrived, and to collect them and to take them both to the hospital to meet their grandchild. I am hoping this has a big positive effect on my mother. Perhaps it's that thing she needs to help her drag her out of that illness that's been holding her back for the last few years - something for her to focus on and think about. I'm sure that even in her condition she'll realise that we have a child and I'm hoping that she'll remember his name.

That is another thing we've been racking our brains over - a name. I didn't imagine how hard it is to think of a name for a child but we've managed to compile something of a short-list. I have the feeling that we won't actually decide on the name until he actually arrives.

My wife mentioned pointed out something the other day. Every time we mention to my mum that we're having a boy, she is ecstatic - she has of course forgotten that we already told her. This is probably one of the better things associated with her condition, if you could even say there was one. That being told some good news is something of a joyful experience for her every time she hears it.

It's just a matter of time now.